My Story

 In 2013 my awaking at how unhealthy I was started, I had before just done every fad diet but I let my binge eating control me. I lied and was like no way am I fat or heavy. I let depression consume me and filled the hole in my heart that my grandmothers death left with tons of taco bell and panda express. I also used my Thyroid condition as an excuse as to why I couldn't lose the weight, but I stopped letting that hold me back once I realized how big I was seeing my self in my friends photos. I couldn't take it anymore, I got my doctor to even out my medicine and It was working and with a nutritionist I started to eat better and I used that eliptical machine I got and then I started walking and using weights. clothes were fitting,I felt great. There is just one problem I developed a body image problem. I have a hard time accepting that Ive lost the weight that I have and trust the process. I still see the girl who is heavy, I see the bat arms, I am highly picky over my body now, which people look at me and go why you lost so much weight?! How about you losing half of your self or even more than half of yourself and not even recognize yourself in the mirror or being constantly told how much better you look, it can get to a person. I Don't let this stop me from my goal I know it will happen I know muscle weights more than fat, I'm gaining muscle. However the scale and I are horrible friends and if Id let it, he would send me on a wrong journey but I am doing this slow and healthy and I didn't have any surgery. I take vitamins and drink protein sakes and have cheat meals.

In June I found out I have Fibromyaliga and some days my body is hurting badly. I don't let that stop me, I'm not doing the miles I was before but I walk and I lift. I am lifting light about 55 pounds but I'll work up to heavier when my body feels a little better. And my Thyroid has been doing great lately.

I want to help people. I was lazy and I still am, hello netflix is my boyfriend we live happily together with my cat. But I will post workouts and recipes and some rants and feelings and we will see how long it lasts. I just want to get out my story and maybe someone else will see it. I don't and wont care for fat shaming, skinny shaming, fit shamming. Support all types of people, I hope everyone will do the same when in reading this. But then again it is the internet and trolls live every where.

Till Next time
Melissa